My house is a mess. I think you could possibly compare it with a cess pit andnot be told off for over exagerrating.

There are papers, car parts and clothes strewn on every seat. Boxes in the corner of the room. Untidy shelves. It's a nightmare.

I don't work. I therefore am expected to clean it. I don't know where to start though. Moving one thing unearths further debris. The living room as I look at it makes me feel sick. Boxes of car spares for my partners business which has thus far failed to take off are stacked in one corer. Papers for the same business sit on the arm of a chair. A pile of unsorted laundry is on the seat beside me. Of a setee with five seats there is one seat where you can sit comfortably and even then you are in amidst the rack and ruin.

The floor is again covered, bills, clothes, the dog sprawled on his duvet in the middle of it all surrounded by empty packets that he has scavenged.

I want to make it better but don't know where to start. I want to throw things away but am unsure what is a part and what is junk. I have no enthusiasm for car bits. I have no enthusiasm for anything lately.

The kitchen is mildly better but still needs tidying. The units look dirty. There is not enough cupboard space. Carrier bags of recycling hang everywhere. I try to tidy it and feel sick. We have a bin but my partner prefers using carrier bags. I don't know why. I don't question it.

Into the hall way where until this morning a bike stood propped against the wall. There are more boxes here. A desk frame blocks the entrance to the dining room and yet more clutter. Yet more boxes. I want to cry.

Up the cluttered stairs you find a semi clean bathroom. A bedroom whose floors are once again full with rubbish and clothing. A bedroom that you can't enter due to all the stuff piled into it. A bedroom which may one day be used as a study/office is so full of boxes that it is uncomfortable.

I want to cry. My partner accuses me of not caring. I do. I just don't know where to begin. So I sit down and write my blog. I need help. We need help. This is going to tear us apart.